Football Talk

I am heading into the wrong career. I should be a commentator for football. Why? Because I am exceptionally good and funny at it.

It all started late last night, at a sleepover. Best Friend was deprived of tv viewing pleasures at home and badgered us to tell her about Messi's playing and whenever Argentina scores. Hell, we didn't just tell her, we re-defined the world of commentary altogether. Maradonna gave us such happy times, with all his nail biting, armpit hugging and coach straddling. He also kissed and ass patted the players when they came out of the field. Almost God to Kinda Creepy in 5 seconds flat, that. Demichelis, who we believed scored only for the pleasure for us being able to read his name without his hair interfering, was our absolute favourite. 'Argentinian Long Haired Dude', we called him. I am crushing over Tzorvas's Zeus impersonation and telling his teammates where they should be scoring.

We were also exceptionally fond of -
Veron a.k.a Main Bald Dude
Rodriguez a.k.a Argentinian Dude
Maxi Rodriguez a.k.a. The Other Rodriguez
D. Milito a.k.a. Dude Getting Sucker Punched
Otamendi a.k.a. Throws Ball At Veron's Head Dude

We didn't leave out the Greek Squad either. No way, Papastathopoulos we loved you, Greek Dude With Fun Name.
There was also the Greek Long Haired Dude.
The Greek Dude Who Shrugs
The Greek Dude Who Keeps Tripping
The Greek Dude Who Keeps Running For Life

And nothing beats commentary like "Argentina in possession. Dude to Dude. Dude to Veron. Veron to Messi. Messi twirling in circles. Messi prima ballerina. Messi to Dude. Dude to somewhere in the middle of the field."

Also, I'm pretty sure the Argentina squad was under the impression that the Greek squad was transparent. Nothing else can explain the number of times they tried to kick the ball right through their stomachs.

Signing Out,
Super Commentator


Anonymous said...

Laughed out loud!
"Messi twirling in circles. Messi prima ballerina."
You are born for this.

Anonymous said...


Brilliantly Dull said...

:D :D :D :D
we did some serious super commentary there!!!!
ew'll remember it for the rest of her life!!!
i'm still in love with papadoupolous!!!! how is parents taught him his own name, i'd have liked to have seen them try!!!!!!!!

Gunny said...

Love the new blog Antara, and this post made me laugh my butts off. :P

Anty said...

@Kirra: Except for the minor problem of not knowing what an Offside is, I will soon enough storm into the world of football.

Elegantly, at that.

@ Andy: Ooooh, I'm trying to figure out how he got the whole name on the jersey. I would have just done p.lous or something.

@Guneet: Your "Butts" off? How many do you have? :D

Ishita_Dasgupta said...

Best Friend LOVES IT!!!

:D :D :D